Betty Makoni, Activist and Humanitarian – In Her Own Words (Part 1)

Posted on September 4, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

Betty Makoni is a woman who has turned devastating adversity into a strength that is impacting and transforming thousands of lives and the generations that follow. She is a gender activist who founded the Girl Child Network (GCN), which cares for Zimbabwe’s young sex abuse victims. She has earned two degrees from the University of Zimbabwe and has been awarded numerous national and international awards; in 2007 she won the World’s Children’s Prize for the Rights of the Child and in 2008, Amnesty International awarded her its Ginetta Sagan Award for her with the GCN. Betty is the principal subject in the documentary film, Tapestries of Hope

What Drives Me: As a girl who survived rape and who lost a mother in domestic violence, I listened to stories of other girls had been raped, fell pregnant, forced to marry and dropped out of school. This gave me determination to fight for my education and career so that one day I become their voice. Today I am the voice of the voiceless. I grew up with the anger that society orchestrated the girls they were supposed to protect. Since I started my work to protect girls since 1998, I have seen girls transformed from perceived victims into survivors and then leaders walking in the fullness of their potential. This is what drives me to do more and more leadership and empowerment programs for girls. For all I know from my story is that no one is born victim, we are all born victorious.

My Highlights: I set to attain education at a good girls school with full knowledge that I had nowhere to get the school fees to pay for my education. The fact that I was poor by then did not discourage me from attending this school because I knew I had no money but I had my brains. I used my brain to negotiate to work for my school fees during holidays. Each time I walked back to school during holidays through mountains and thick bushes I always told myself that if only I had just been given a donation of school fees then I would not have imagined how hard it is to work and earn. I worked during holidays and attained my education. Everything I have today is because I sacrificed my holidays as a child.

Betty-Makoni-2

All that I achieved in my career I developed it through sheer hard work and commitment. When I became sexually abused as a child, I sought a place to share my story but could not get one. I tried to look for someone to pay for my school and all doors were closed against me. In developing a career that would make me feel my passion, I built four Girls Empowerment Villages in Zimbabwe and to date they have rehabilitated over 70 000 girls into confident women they are today. I started a Women as role models scholarship fund to assist poor girls and today I see many of them who scored highly academically and are in high positions. To see women empowered today because they went through Girls Empowerment Clubs is something I am most proud of. I wanted to leave a story of Never again, not to any woman or girl again which is title of my official autobiography. Every program I designed from my empowerment program has spread across the world and I am proud that my model of empowering girls has been replicated in six countries in Africa .

My Definition Of Success: Success means overcoming hurdles and challenges to reach a goal. I encountered a lot of challenges as a girl but I kept telling myself to work towards an educational goal. For a poor girl like me setting myself on an educational path even with full knowledge I had no money to pay school fees and rather had my brains to negotiate for my continued education speaks of my success. Success therefore means everything I stood up to do on my own with self-belief that I could achieve it. There is a time when I read about people who had done well in their careers and this reminded me always I could achieve the same.

My Key Talents: I think I have a strong intuition and creativity – a sense and a conviction in me that is inborn that makes me predict success or failure even before I come up with an innovation. As a child I survived some situations that were unbelievably so hard because of my strong intuition. I have a talent to visualize something, design it in my head and then go to do it. Even when I had no slightest idea where I would get funds to build Girls Empowerment Villages for my project in Zimbabwe so that we protect girls from abusers and facilitate their healing, it is my intuition that told me to push the idea forward because somewhere and from someone funds would come. And I did working on fundraising and true to the point all funding I needed to build four Girls Empowerment Villages came my way.

I have a talent to speak with passion. I speak on everything I believe in without being artificial and people who are my fans find the courage to also speak out and get help. I have found writing poetry as a great talent I have. I have realized that for all we are and do, we never create a rhythm in our lives and hence we lose our positive energy. I have successfully put words together and to breathe life into many who had lost hope. I always think and feel that words can heal as much as they can harm and hurt. I find use of words as something that can transform human beings and give them the power to lead. Speaking and writing poetry is one talent overlooked by many but in simple words the world heals. Prince Deun Adodyin Solarin called me a Wordsmith.

Key Behaviours: I have applied the three behaviors assertive, aggressive and passive tactfully in every situation I find myself in. There are times I find myself in a situation where there are bullies and to counter their attitudes I have remained assertive knowing when to respond or not. I have also realized when it is appropriate to withdraw depending in situation and resorted to passive behavior. I always use assertive behavior whereby I know my rights and responsibilities and I know others too have rights and responsibilities. I think one action I have consistently maintained is to know what I want and work to get it. I have a strong conviction that as long as one stands up to something, they will achieve and get it. I have also learnt to position myself strategically and made deep analysis of every character around me. Again my intuition always directs me to the right people and at the right place and at the right time.

Principles I Live By: I have a set of principles that I adhere to daily and these include honesty, I want to remain truthful in everything I do. I have want to say truth to myself and to others. Once my foundation is built on being honest and truthful my actions and everything I seek to do will be achieved very well. I want to do my work with passion and commitment knowing that what I give into doing something is out of goodwill and good intent.. I want to do and not to say and so I want to walk the talk. What happened to my mother, my grandmother and myself should not happen to any woman or girl again. As long as I get to know, I will stop it.

Lessons I Have Learnt: 

  • Never give up. Giving up something you are passionate about is like giving up the air you breathe. Your chances of survival are slim.
  • From what I know you don’t stop being poor because someone is acting on your behalf. From all that I know it is me and only me who can break the vicious cycle of poverty before it breaks me.
  • Whereas for many who are privileged it is a known fact that opportunity knocks on their door daily whereas for those poor and marginalized you have to constantly knock on doors of opportunity. Unless you do nothing comes your way.
  • We now live in a civilized world. My story is not oral history. My story has been written and shared with dignity it deserves. Anyone who wanted to distort it should know that in this day and era, everyone has social media to help them reach out and share their story. Do not be oral history. The digital world brings dignity to our legacy.
  • Anything that one does with passion pays a bigger price.
  • There is something that happens when you have self-belief and you are self-empowered. You begin to act from within and deliver change for yourself before you claim you can change others. Oftentimes we are made to believe someone out there changes us but not ourselves.
  • Doing something is better than doing nothing.
  • I am not ashamed to share my story because besides being past, it reconciles my present and future and sets me free as a victim and ushers me into era where I am leading. Donating my story to transform millions round the world is like donating my organs to save a life. Let my life story be inspirational to future donations. I am not a millionaire with dollars but a millionaire with inspirational words. If money can do so much and so do inspirational words.
  • I am born victorious and not victim.
  • In every chaos, great things do not emerge only emerge but great thinkers and philosophers emerge.
  • Not all of us are given more than one chance. For me I had one bus to catch for my interview, I had one University to apply to, I had one life time chance to pass in school, I had one life time chance to call a woman my mother, I had one life chance to move from poverty to prosperity. Every time I realized I had one chance, I never took anything for granted.
  • I believe so much in poor people. Even though some market women who stopped the bus to my school interview did not have an education, they fought their poverty through me. Even though the woman who lived in our make shift house was a prostitute and had no education, she encouraged me to work hard and never to go to the pub like her. She educated her son and died before she could even to live to celebrate her achievements. The poor always achieve through others. Yes they missed their one life chance but they still can fight for their children never to miss it.
  • For girls, books first and babies later.
  • Everything that I have learnt fast is through doing.
  • Anything you work for with your hands, you hold tight and it is treasurable. Anything you get on a silver plate, you let it slip away recklessly.
  • Before you receive always think about how to give. There are many life lessons in giving that receiving.
  • I am happiest on earth because I have learnt to be grateful about the things I now have which I never dreamt of having.

Part 2 can be found here.

Find out more about Muzvare Betty Makoni here www.muzvarebettymakoni.org

This inspiring story has been reposted from and with the permission of The Legacy Project : www.thelegacyproject.co.za

Posted in Inspirational, Mother, Wife, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On The Radio, Actually on BlogTalkRadio

Posted on August 26, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

This coming Thursday, August 28th, 2014 at 5 pm, I am being given the extraordinary opportunity of talking to Winslow Eliot on WriteSpa’s BlogTalkRadio about InspiredByMyMom.com – how it came into being and why I thought it was so important to give a platform to stories about the women that inspired us so that they are never forgotten.

You can listen to the recorded interview here: Interview with Winslow Eliot on WriteSpa

inspiringThere are so many so-called “ordinary” women who have led extraordinary lives that need to be documented and shared with the world.  Few of them may have not even considered their lives special or different yet they provided strength, courage, guidance, love and inspiration to so many.

My own mother’s story “Remembering My Mom and Her Incredible Life” was a story that I was brought up with and it was the first I shared on this blog.  It was the fabric of my upbringing and it had a big influence on me but I never realized how much others were inspired by her life until it was pointed out to me.

My mom’s story has also given others the desire (or maybe even the need) to share those of their inspirations.  As Gertruda wrote “Giving Up Was Not An Option” she found it very comforting and cathartic putting her mom’s 90 year life into words. Dana took the opportunity of thanking her mother when she wrote “Just Doing What Needs To Be Done”.  Joni wrote her poem “I Thought She’d Live Forever” when her mom passed away several years ago but shared it with the world when the opportunity arose through this blog.  Amy Riolo wrote her Nonna’s story from the obituary she wanted to give at her grandmother’s funeral but couldn’t.

Winslow Eliot, who is providing me with this opportunity on BlogTalkRadio, had a great-grandmother that not only inspired her life but impacted America’s history by fighting for the right to vote for women.  Her story is told by Winslow in “The Lady of My Dreams: Ada Davenport Kendall“.

I know that there are so many more stories that need to be told and women that need to be heralded and remembered as the heroes they were and are.  I invite you to share HERstory with the world – she deserves it.

Betty Eitner
Founder, Editor, Blogger

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Posted in Inspirational, Mother, Wife, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dear Mom, Can You Tell Me How You’ve Done It?

Posted on August 18, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

Dear Mom,

I can imagine the feeling of sheer joy you felt the day he was born. I can imagine the peace that blanketed you while your arms blanketed him. I can imagine the look in your eyes as you looked into his, and thanked the Lord for another healthy child. I can imagine how proud you felt to present Dad with his first son. After having two girls, I can imagine a boy was a welcome addition. I can imagine the dreams you had for him. I can imagine all the visions of “firsts” that went through your mind as you held him for the first time.

Leah Vidal and her inspiration, her mom.

Leah Vidal and her inspiration, her mom.

I can imagine all of this because I too am a mother now. I too have held my children and dreamed of what their future would hold. I too have envisioned each “first” in their life and the happiness each may bring to mine. What I can’t imagine is how you have coped with all the “firsts” you never envisioned in his life.

How did you survive the first time he had to visit a psychiatrist? How did you deal with a complete stranger telling you there was something wrong with your son after having only known him for one hour, when you had known him for years? He didn’t know his favorite homemade meal. He didn’t know his passion for music. He didn’t know his compassion for others. He didn’t know these things and so many more, yet in one hour he determined there was something so wrong with your son that medication and therapy were ordered. How did you hold back the tears when you realized you were being told years of after school conversations around the kitchen table over milk and cookies were a thing of the past? What your son needed now were hour-long sessions with a stranger who promised to reach him, when his own mother couldn’t.

How did you manage to get through the phone call letting you know your son had been hospitalized because he was confused and couldn’t even tell the day of the week? Did it take you back to the days when you would circle important dates on the calendar for him to look forward to? Or, did it take you even further back to the times you repeatedly sang the days of the week song to him, so he would be ahead of the game when he entered Kindergarten?

How did you hold it together when you stood by his hospital bed time and again, and looked into his eyes much like you did in another hospital long ago? Could you still see your baby boy in those eyes even if he couldn’t see you? How did you make your words reach him when he was trapped in a world incapable of speech? Where have you found the courage mom? Where have you found the strength to pick him up each time he has fallen when his pain now is so much deeper than a scraped knee?

How have you listened to the many different labels placed on your son throughout the years? How have you helped him to accept those same labels as a positive step on a path to mental health, when the only labels you’ve ever had for him are my son, my baby boy, my world? What have you done with all those dreams you had for him? Have you given up on them in your heart of hearts or have you altered them? Have those dreams now simply become ones where he is as happy and healthy as he was when he entered this world? How have you continued to live each day, mom, when you must be dying inside?

As I look at my own son, I think of you mom. I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been through with your son. As his sister, I know what my experience has been, but as I look at my happy, healthy little boy I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of your pain. From one mother to another, I can say you have given me the best example of what it means to be a mother. It isn’t about teaching them their first words, but about being their voice when they can’t speak for themselves. It isn’t about cheering them on when they take their first steps, but about walking alongside them no matter what their journey entails. It isn’t about putting a band-aid on their knee when they fall, but about always being there to pick them back up. Most importantly, it is about never giving up on your child…no matter how many sleepless nights it may cost you.

Forever in awe of you,

Your grateful daughter

Contributed by Leah Vidal, Author, Red Circle Days and writer, Little Miss Wordy www.littlemisswordy.com

Posted in Daughter, Inspirational, Mother, Wife, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

An Artist’s Inspiration

Posted on August 11, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

One thing about my mom is that she was so much fun to be around and, when you were with her, she made it seem that you were the only one in the world.  It was always like that for her… she was where the action was and right in the center.  Curiosity and a burning desire to excel provided her with the most diverse life-long resume.

Artist

Artist Barbara Matteo-Serbent doing what she loves best.

She was born in the great plains of North Dakota back when William Howard Taft was president and where, over the next thirty years, she developed her skills in poetry, farming, dancing, cooking, hunting and fishing; it was where she learned to love books; and where she married and began a family.

My mom’s vision and desire to move to California came when she and Alton participated in defense work there during World War II.  That experience convinced her to make a permanent move to a wondrous ranch in Fair Oaks where she developed a nursery for African Violets. One of her own violet strains she called “San Juan” after the name of our street.  There she raised every kind and variety of animal and bird, along with verdant fruit and nut orchards and lush floral as well as life-sustaining truck gardens.

She collected, refinished and traded in antique furniture and became one of the area’s most celebrated antique bottle experts.  It was here that she began a long, successful career as a painter after a period of intense study with nationally known artists.  She loved her adopted state and managed to travel and camp over every foot of it – savoring its mountains, valleys, long coastline and sparkling rivers all captured in watercolor.

After our dad passed away in 1964 Rene remarried and made her second big move – this time to Sedona, Arizona – where for the next twenty-one years she enlarged her scope of interests to include an intense acquaintance with the American Indian and a consuming passion for birding. Here her painting career reached its zenith resulting in soaring sales and modest fame.  Although they remained married for the rest of their lives, George and Rene separated after two decades and mom went on to enjoy years of travel to Australia, Mexico, Central America, Europe and every American state.

Rene made her third and final move to Texas in 1991 to be near her beloved son and daughter-in-law.  There she focused her enthusiasm on the Church and the solace and deep friendships she found there.  As her eyesight, hearing and ability to move easily disappeared she had to leave her wide-ranging activities behind but she retained all her knowledge and maintained vital interests in them, becoming a mentor to others intent on education.  Her collecting urge never left her and she become known as the Teddy Bear Lady, complete with calling card, who took great pleasure in presenting hundreds of these soft little bears as gifts to local children.

Her gifts were many and her legacy rock solid.  She taught us how to respect and love nature, how to live life to the fullest with curiosity and grit, how to recognize our own needs, how to find and fully express our creativity, how to genuinely befriend and love our neighbor, how to age gracefully and with dignity, how to gently leave this world totally prepared, and how to find the spirit of God within ourselves and in the natural riches of the planet we live on. She taught us by example the concepts of honor, compassion and ethical behavior in daily life.   And she will always live in the astounding heritage she left us.

There is a saying that goes…”when you look back on your life one hundred years from now, no achievement or material gain will matter at all except the fact that you were important in the life of a child.”  Believe me, she was not only essential in my life and the lives of her other children, but also in the lives of her natal family and in the thousands of friendships she nourished over her long richly interesting life.

My name is Barbara Matteo-Serbent of Castleton, VA and Monterey, CA, and my mother’s name is Rene Willis Knapp Larue of Tolna, ND, Fair Oaks, CA, Sedona, AZ, and Seguin, TX.

Posted in Daughter, Inspirational, Mother, Wife, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Two Rockstar Grandmas and Their 30 Life Lessons

Posted on August 4, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

These gems were gleaned from a four-hour car ride with both of my grandmothers. Enjoy!

  1. Never let other people define you. Rockstar
  2. Marry your best friend.
  3. You should do what you love in life, even if it doesn’t pay top dollar.
  4. Enjoy your youth because it flies by incredibly fast.
  5. Be yourself and be honest. Not everyone is going to like you, but that’s just what happens and as you grow older, you become less and less concerned with the opinions of your critics.
  6. You can’t love other people before you love yourself.
  7. Travel whenever possible.
  8. Take advantage of the changes that are happening around you. A lot of them truly are bettering the world we live in. We have seen so many changes in our lifetimes, even in just the way we have been treated as women. Dive into social change and allow it to empower you in life.
  9. Take care of your body and be mindful of your health.
  10. Don’t try to change anyone else. You can’t. You can only change yourself.
  11. You learn a lot from your mistakes. I know everyone says that, but you never truly understand it until you’ve made some massive mistakes. And you will, but you’ll grow from them.
  12. You can never have too many close friends.
  13. Don’t walk away too soon from your marriage or relationships. They take work and it’s worth fighting for. Trust us.
  14. Money can’t make you happy, but it sure as hell helps. So work hard to sustain yourself financially and build a solid foundation with your work.
  15. That being said, your career isn’t the most important thing in your life. People are. No matter how successful you become you must not forget that.
  16. Wine is an old friend and a faithful one at that. Remember that you’re never too old or too busy to have fun.
  17. Don’t compromise your beliefs or your morals for anyone else.
  18. It’s really important to give back to the community that gave to you. Love where you live and live where you love.
  19. If you’re looking for easy, don’t get married. It’s not always easy, but it’s incredibly rewarding.
  20. Wait until you are a little older to get married. In our generation, everyone married young and there is a meaningful lesson to learn from that. Young people are changing too much to commit solely to each other.
  21. At the end of your life, all the material crap that you collect won’t be there. It’s the people that you loved and loved you that will remain. So don’t heavily concern yourself with materialistic happiness.
  22. Share with others whenever you can.
  23. Walk away from negative people and situations. It isn’t always easy, but if you don’t separate yourself from evil, you will allow it to consume you.
  24. Once you have a family, they become your number one responsibility and priority for just about the rest of your life. It’s a beautiful thing, but make sure you’re ready for it when you decide to start one.
  25. As a parent, you shouldn’t worry as much about the dishes being washed or the floor being clean. Play games with your kids and enjoy the little moments. Life’s daily messes will be irrelevant in the end.
  26. Parenting is a cycle. When you start out, parents take care of the children and then the children end up taking care of the parents. So appreciate each other, we are here to take care of one another.
  27. Beauty starts within. A person with a beautiful heart does not need to be “pretty” on the outside to be an extraordinary person. Physical beauty is overrated.
  28. Live your life with as few enemies as possible. Let go of grudges because they won’t matter in the end anyway and forgiveness is freeing.
  29. Never let an old person into your body. You’re only as old as you feel.
  30. No one and no amount of money will make you feel comfortable in life; you have to be comfortable within yourself. If you aren’t, the world becomes a scary place. We used to think that we needed people to be happy. We then learned in our many years that all you need to be happy is yourself. You are your own hero in this life and that’s something to be proud of.

Reposted with the permission of Lexi Herrick, Writer and College Student.
Follow Lexi on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lexi_herrick

 

Posted in Inspirational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Lady of My Dreams: Ada Davenport Kendall

Posted on July 30, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

Ada 1In January, 1919, Ada Davenport Kendall had joined a band of distinguished women from all over the United States to march on Washington and protest in support of women’s right to vote. They chained themselves to the fence outside the White House, so that they couldn’t be driven away, and they were taunted and beaten…

Many of the women protesting with my great-grandmother in 1919 were society women, wives of prominent politicians, elegant and dignified, and they couldn’t believe how they were treated when all they were asking for – peacefully – was the right to vote.

Letter from Lucy Burns request Ada to come to Washington immediately.

Letter from Lucy Burns requesting Ada to come to Washington immediately.

Many of them were jailed. Ada was sent to the notorious Occoquan workhouse – where conditions were far more ghastly than most people know. The Occoquan, she wrote, was “a place of chicanery, sinister horror, brutality and dread” from which “no one could come out without just resentment against any government which could maintain such an institution.” Family legend has it that her husband, Frederick Kendall, printed her letters to him in his newspaper and eventually word of the atrocities to these women spread around the country. She got the jail, the jailers, and some dreadful politicians into so much trouble that she was released early, and they begged her to leave the jail.

Of course, she refused. She insisted that every single suffragette who was still being held – without charges, without a trial, and treated with great cruelty – had to be released as well. After that she was confined to solitary again and when she protested that treatment again by going on a hunger strike she was forcibly fed – which, the way it was done back then, was another form of torture.

Ada speaking at a suffragettes' meeting in Buffalo, NY

Ada speaking at a suffragettes’ meeting in Buffalo, NY

Eventually, the idiots in Washington realized that they were making idiots of themselves. Husbands slowly began visiting their wives and couldn’t believe the condition they were in. The 200 or so imprisoned women were eventually released and Congress passed the 19th Amendment on August 18, 1920, which gave women the right to vote. (Twelve states rejected the amendment and women still weren’t allowed to vote in 1952!)

These are some of the stories my mother and others have told me about my great-grandmother, Ada Davenport Kendall:

A man was beating his horse with a whip in front of her house, and she dashed outside, grabbed the whip, and began whipping him with it.

She had a beloved parrot who she called Pol.

When she was twenty, she became the first woman reporter for the Buffalo Express. The then city editor, Frederick Kendall, (he later became publisher) objected strenuously – but within two years they were married. I love to imagine their conversations!

My cousin Peter was seven when he went to Bam’s – as we always called her – for Christmas in the mid-1940’s. He writes: “The whole family was there. At night I slept in the bedroom above the kitchen. There were grates that allowed the warm air from the first floor to rise. I’m awake in anticipation of Christmas morning. Suddenly I hear a door open to the kitchen from the outside. I look through the grate and see a shabby man enter and go to the icebox (refrigerator), get something, and leave.  A while later it happened again with a like person. This went on all night long. In the morning it was Christmas. But all I wanted to know was what that was all about.  Sam [our uncle] told me that Bam always left the door open and the fridge stocked, so the homeless (the word, then, of course, was “bums”) could have a meal, and the Christmas one was always special. I had never heard of anyone doing such a thing, and I never have since.”

Another story we great-grandchildren were told was that she wanted a fireplace in one of the rooms in the house. Her husband said no, and when he came home there was an axe in the wall. When he inquired about it she replied, “That’s where I want the fireplace.”

While Ada was incarcerated at the infamous Occoquan workhouse, she spent much of her time in solitary confinement, where she made friends with one of the many rats, shared with it her meager portion of maggot-infested food, and named it Machiavelli.

The Poet:  After asking relatives for stories they remembered about her, and researching her biography, I came across this mysterious poem she wrote that made me feel closer to her than ever:

THE LADY OF MY DREAMS

Like flash of wild bird in the night,
A tender fleeting thing, —
Or like a breath of soft sweet air
When Winter kisses Spring, —
As falling rose leaves in the rain
Her fragrant presence seems ;
She is the answer to my soul —
The lady of my dreams.

With wild unrest she fills my heart,
The tender fleeting thing,
And yet I would not touch her hand
Or still her wandering.
As well imprison opal fire
Or catch the moon’s white beams ; —
And so I follow with my soul
The lady of my dreams.

                                                                                   Ada Davenport Kendall

Winslow Eliot is an award winning author and world traveller who generously allowed us to repost this story about her great grand-mother. Her talent and interests come naturally as she is the heir of a long line of distinguished writers and educators. To learn more about Winslow, please visit http://winsloweliot.com/

Posted in Inspirational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why I created InspiredByMyMom.com

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

Since I started this blog several months ago I have been asked the question “Why?” more times than I can remember so here goes.

Over the years I have had the privilege of hearing many amazing accounts of women with stories that need to be told. Not surprisingly, at least not to me, these have been mostly about strong, formidable women that just stepped up and stepped in when and where they were needed.  Many never considered themselves special nor were they looking for accolades but I feel they need to be recognized for the inspirations they have been and continue to be.  That is what I am trying to achieve through this blog – offering a platform to share the stories of fabulous women of different generations and backgrounds. Their extraordinary lives should be documented and not forgotten.

My own mother, whose story “Remembering My Mom and Her Incredible Life” is the first one I posted, was an awesome woman that openly told her life story to anyone who would listen.  She wanted the world to know how tough it had been to live through a war in a labour camp and what it was like to be a displaced person without a country.  When she finally settled in Canada, she wanted those around her to realize how lucky they were to be living in a country safe from strife and knowing where their next meal was coming from.

Françoise was married off by the time she was 16 and had birthed 5 children by the age of 21, only two of which survived.  This happened in rural Québec in the 1930s and she lived a long life filled with the joy of family, grandchildren and great grandchildren however she never stopped mourning the 3 children she had buried.  Although 80 years have passed since Françoise lived through her ordeal we still see child marriages in many parts of the world where young girls are neither physically or emotionally ready to become wives and mothers.

I have been told stories of women living through war and near starvation; women surviving abuse; women as second class citizens; and women as sole providers struggling to make ends meet.  I have also heard the stories of perseverance and survival; the need to quickly adapt to changes in life, language and customs; the ability to support others emotionally and financially; and women working to change the injustices they see around them.

We read about many women in history and their contributions.  Marie Skłodowska-Curie was a physicist and chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity.  Rosa Parks, an African-American activist whose refusal to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus helped end public segregation in the United States. The Trung sisters who were Vietnamese heroines who led the first national uprising against the Chinese. Florence Nightingale was a philosopher of modern nursing and social reformer. Dolores Huerta was a co-founder of the United Farm Workers, and has been an activist for labor, Hispanic and women’s rights.

However, we need to be reading more about the woman that managed to feed and protect her children in the middle of a war zone; the grandmother that took in her grandchildren when they had no one left in the world; the doctors, the nurses and the caregivers that dedicated themselves to taking care of others; the women that fought for freedom, for the right-to-vote, for women’s rights; all the unsung heroines that walked and walk among us.

So there it is, the reason I started InspiredByMyMom.com – to create an opportunity to share the extraordinary stories of what on the outside may look like an average woman but one that has made a difference and is someone’s hero, someone’s inspiration.

This blog is for you and the women that inspired you.  Please contribute the story of an extraordinary woman that deserves to be remembered.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Posted in Daughter, Inspirational, Mother, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Giving Up Was Not An Option

Posted on July 18, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

She was born in Germany in 1922 before returning with her parents to her mother’s village in central Poland in 1926.

Not quite 17 when the Second World War broke out and living under German occupation, she knew she would be taken away to a labour camp or to work on a farm in Germany.  Hoping not to be sent too far away from her home, she heard of farms just across the border so she volunteered her services and was relocated in 1941. This farm was only about 70 kilometers away from her home so she did hear from her family occasionally but ended up working there to the end of the war.

Gertruda and Jozefa

Gertruda and her Mama, Jozefa, on a recent visit to Poland.

In the spring of 1945, as the Russian troops were marching across Poland and the Germans retreating, stories of mass killings and destruction were prevalent and she had had no news of her parents. Although she was born in Germany and had the option of staying there, she trusted no one and decided to return back to her village walking the entire 70 kilometers back home.  Fortunately her parents had survived and she was reunited with her mother in their Polish village.

In 1946, with her belongings in a wooden trunk, she came to live on her husband’s farm. The house had only a straw roof and drafty windows. The family lived in one room with a large bread baking oven in the center.  People were born and died in that room. She lost two infant sons in that room as there was no doctor close by and, with a horse and buggy on a muddy dirt road, help could not come in time.  The first medical clinic for the area was finally built in 1957 and electricity was not available until 1966.

Life was hard for my mother but giving up was not an option. She persevered, working side by side with her husband at home and in the fields. She was not just a wife, she was a partner.  Work was backbreaking and farm tools were ancient and primitive.  However, we were the second family in the village to build a brick house. She took upon herself to build a bread baking oven in the new house as no one in the village knew how to construct one. My mother had only a grade 6 education.

Most of the crops went to the government cooperative so, to make extra money for her family, she sold farm produce at a village market 12 kilometers away.  We traveled there on a bicycle laden with everything including live chickens selling most of it along the road before we even made it to market.

Things never really got any easier for her. One afternoon, I watched her riding away with our neighbour on his motorcycle, holding on to him with her left hand because the right one was wrapped in a bloody cloth. She had been in a farm accident losing her thumb and index finger.  She had to learn to use her left hand, she persevered, and she never gave up. Farming was her passion. She loved the land and she had a family to feed and take care of.

In fun times I loved combing and braiding her long hair. Sometimes she opened her wooden trunk and we would play dress up. I often think that that she would have liked to be an actress.

She was also a great knitter and a seamstress.  I remember falling asleep to the sound of her sewing machine.

She was the first feminist I knew. Her opinion that priests only baptised children, but did not feed them, was progressive in a country heavily influenced by the Roman Catholic religion.

When I left my mother’s home in Poland in 1973, there was still no indoor plumbing and rural Poland remained primitive and isolated for many more years regardless of what political regime was in power.

In 1984 she came to Canada to visit. It was the first and only time she ever went on a plane but she got to meet her son-in-law and her grandchildren. Although they were still very young, to this day they still remember her for the giant snow hill she built for them in our yard.

Today she lives with her family in the house that she built with her husband. The farm was passed on to the next generation in exchange for a meager government pension. The money gives her the independence that she values so much and her days of hard work are finally over. Truthfully, she misses the work and is heartbroken watching the empty fields as the younger generation has chosen a different path.

As for me, I did spend my younger years with her. However, as a teenager, I went to a government boarding school and then left for Canada at the age of 21.

Did I find her too strong then? Probably. Was I running away from her? Maybe.

It took me a long time to understand that her love for me did not come in hugs and kisses but in that strong sense of self that comes from not giving up.

Today as I am getting older I see the lessons she taught and know that she has been my pillar and a guiding light all along.

If I had to describe her by one word, it would be: independent. She values that the most even now.

She is 91 and I hope and pray that when her time comes, God will have a special place for her in heaven.

I am Gertruda and she is my Mama, Jozefa Jarzębska Siwik, and this is HERstory.

Posted in Daughter, Inspirational, Mother, Wife, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Tale of Three Decisions

Posted on July 10, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

In many ways, Hansaben’s story is typical of millions of ordinary Indian women, but it is also a story of extraordinary strength, determination and courage.

Hansaben was born the second of five daughters in a poor farming family. The family raised buffaloes for milk, but sold all of their production to make ends meet, and rarely had enough to feed themselves.

Hansaben

Hansaben preparing a meal in her home in India.

When she was twelve and had completed the 7th level of her education (out of a total of 12), Hansaben was forced to leave school and go to work, tending the animals and doing heavy manual labour. She begged her mother to let her stay in school, but her mother did not think it would be fair to offer her something the other daughters could not have. She even tried to get her mother to invest in feeding their animals to improve their productivity and bring in more money, in the hopes that this would allow her to stay in school – or at least have enough to eat – but her mother was afraid to take the risk.

Soon afterwards Hansaben was married off to a man from another village, and went to live with his family. At first she considered herself lucky: he was close to her in age, and he was kind to her. But shortly after their marriage, he moved to the city to study diamond cutting and work in the jewelry trade, and left Hansaben behind with his family. Although she worked hard and tried to be a good daughter-in-law, she had a difficult time with her mother-in-law and brother-in-law, who treated her like a servant. She felt very lonely, but could not even visit her own family because her in-laws would accuse her of being disloyal.

The first of many brave steps

After three years, Hansaben took the first of many brave steps that would shape her life. She wrote to her husband and demanded that he bring her to the city to live with him, or divorce her and let her go back to her own village. He brought her to the city.

They lived in the city for twelve years, during which time both their daughter and son were born. Hansaben’s husband did not make much money, but Hansaben also worked as a house cleaner and they managed to survive.

When her daughter finished the seventh level of school, Hansaben made another fateful decision. Her husband wanted their daughter to drop out and start working, but Hansaben refused; she wanted her daughter to have the opportunities she never had. However, after the seventh level, schooling is no longer free, and was particularly expensive in the city. Hansaben decided to return with the children to her husband’s village so that her daughter could stay in school.

Slowly and steadily

Her plan was to begin farming the family land, but upon her return, she was shocked to discover that her father-in-law had lost almost all of the family land. There was no farm. She was forced to rely on charity from a wealthy landowner and work as a day labourer to make ends meet. In addition to her own children, she had to care for the child of her brother, whose wife had left, and of course, her mother- and father-in-law. She was a servant again.

It was around this time that Hansaben joined the Self-Employed Women’s Association (SEWA) – a non-governmental organization of poor, self-employed women workers across India, many of whom are rural women farmers. Through SEWA, she learned about microsaving and microlending, and was able to make her third life-changing decision: she resolved to buy back the family land.

Slowly and steadily, she began to cultivate the small plot of land that remained, using very small amounts from savings and from micro-loans to purchase improved seeds and fertilizers. By the end of the first season, she had made enough money to repay her loans and expand production for the following season. And within a few years, she had earned enough to buy back the family land.

Today, Hansaben cultivates about half a hectare of land. She grows millet primarily for use by the family and cotton as a cash crop. Her biggest expenses are seed, fertilizer and the hiring of draught power. Her next goal is to acquire a pair of bullocks that she can use on her own fields and hire out to her neighbours.

Hansaben’s husband, who lost his city job when the financial crisis hit, has since moved back to the village. He now works with her on the farm, but it is her farm and he is proud of what she has achieved. Her in-laws now look to her as a loyal daughter, and her own daughter is the first girl in their village to complete all twelve levels of education.

According to Hansaben, it is very common for an Indian woman to hold the keys to her house, but she is proud to say that she holds the keys to her farm.

Hansaben currently lives in a small village in the Indian state of Gujarat, south of Ahmedabad, with her husband and their young son. Her daughter, who is older, is married and lives with her husband in a nearby city.

This article has been reposted with the permission of the FAO who is the copyright holder.  FAO’s endorsement of user’s views, products or services is not implied in any way.

Posted in Daughter, Inspirational, Mother, Wife, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Mother, My Inspiration!

Posted on July 2, 2014 by Inspired by My Mom

We all need to have people around us who believe in us, who love us unconditionally, and who see more in us than we see in ourselves. I am blessed to have many mentors, both personally and professionally, who do encourage me, stretch me and challenge me to be the best I can be. However, THE person who really held me to my best was my Mother. She passed away at New Year’s several years ago and I have felt the loss over these past years.

Pat Mussieux

Pat Mussieux and her mom

My mother and I were estranged for close to 10 years but, for the past 6 years, we restored that relationship and our bond was like cement.I know that many women entrepreneurs can relate to having a difficult or challenging relationship with your mothers – or no relationship at all. However, I learned a lot of life lessons from my mother – she was an amazing, courageous, brilliant, inquisitive woman – and I applied those lessons to my business. Here are my favorites.

Living In Your Past Will Not Serve You In Your Future : This lesson was specifically applied to my mastery as a public speaker. My mother, in the past few years, has been totally amazed that people would pay me, and pay me very well, to speak in public. She constantly reminded me of the days, in elementary school, when she had to literally ply my fingers off the chair rails and pull me out from under chairs, to get me to go to school. I was painfully shy! We all have great potential – but we also tend to dwell on the past, on what people have said about us, what our beliefs are about our abilities – and, therefore, we do not use our potential.

Work Hard (& play hard too) : I grew up in a military family and we had no money. My Dad was a great role model when it came to work ethic. He was proud to be able to support our large family and I learned a lot from him about discipline, focus, time management, and respect. My mother was a ‘stay at home’ Mom for many years and I know it is no easy task to manage a household of 9! While my father was away often, and for long periods of time, my Mom worked hard to keep the family happy, healthy and together.

Say What You Mean. Be Authentic. : My mother was never shy when it came to speaking her mind – sometimes, those words were quite brutal, actually. But I did learn that honesty is the best policy but we may need to ‘temper’ some of our statements though so they aren’t hurtful!

Ask Questions. Keep Learning. : My mother was extremely inquisitive – almost to the day she died. She was always asking questions. I remember, just a few years ago, she was dying to know how computer animation worked – she was 86 years old at the time! And she really wanted to know. It intrigued her to no end. I loved that about her – and I am a chip off the old block. My Mom made it ok to ask questions constantly, to keep learning about many different things and to keep your brain active.

Stay Connected : While we were estranged for many years, once we restored our relationship, it was important for my Mom to stay connected with me. She had a sincere curiosity about the work I do and the places I go – especially when I was on the world tours. She followed my travel blog on her computer and, when I would return from business trips, she would be the first to call to ask how things went (and, what did I learn?! – always her question!). I miss those phone calls now because they not only helped me, and my work, to feel validated – but I loved to share, too.

There are many more things I learned from my Mom and there are many ways that she inspired me – to be the best person I could be and the best business woman I could be.

Reposted with permission of Pat Fortin Mussieux, Founder www.WealthyWomenLeaders.com

Posted in Daughter, Inspirational, Mother, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment